To My First Child

My world changed the day you came,
Nothing would ever be the same.
Your smell, your face, your hands, your feet.
I fell in love: I was complete.

Though you woke before the sun,
A day could pass with nothing done.
Marvelling at your soft complexion:
How did we make such pure perfection?

Everything was bright and new,
From baby vests to tiny shoes.
And anything that you might touch
Was sterilised a bit too much.

I laid awake to check your breathing
Bought several rings to help your teething.
Took your photo all the time
Couldn’t believe that you were mine.

‘Must do things right’ was in my head
So every baby book was read.
Then just when I thought I’d got it maybe –
Things changed again, another baby.

Our family of three was now a four
and though I’d done it all before,
I worried that you’d be affected
Or, even worse, would feel neglected.

There was another who needed care
And it can be so hard to share.
You got told off for playing rough;
Being the biggest can be quite tough.

I’m still learning as we go along
And sometimes I will get it wrong.
You lead the way to all things new
And where you go, I follow you.

Your firsts are also firsts for me.
I hold my breath to set you free.
It’s true you’re not my only one
But you were the one who made me ‘mum’.

Emma Robinson 2019