Packing school lunch is quite tricky
Getting it right’s no mean feat
Between food that will pass the school guidelines
And stuff they will actually eat

The school says no chocolate or sugar
And definitely nothing with nuts
My kids say no yoghurt or salad
and make sure you cut off my crusts

I pointlessly pack them an apple
Though I’ve learned many times to my sorrow
It comes straight back home and I wash it
Then pack it back in there tomorrow

The sandwich, at least, is straightforward
‘til I realise I’ve no ham or cheese
They’re delighted to get jam or honey
Whilst I’m praying that nobody sees

Once I dreamed I would make lovely lunches
Pots of hummus with crisp carrot sticks
But my healthy-kids-cookbook frittata
Is “disgusting” and makes them “feel sick”

Even worse, their tastes keep on changing
So the playing field’s not even level
This week, raisins are like manna
The next, they’re the food of the devil

So I’m giving it up altogether
No more filling lunchboxes for me
From tomorrow they’re having school dinners . . .
But what will I make them for tea?

Emma Robinson 2017