Nappy Change 999

You go in fast and fully armed,
With nappy, bag and wipes.
You don’t know what you’re facing:
They come in many types.

Sometimes you get real lucky
And you find it’s just a wee.
“Move on there, gents and ladies.
There is nothing here to see.” 

But other times it’s not so good.
The situation’s serious.
Pampers at full capacity,
And a smell that’s quite mysterious. 

You gently tease the Velcro,
Still hoping you’re mistaken.
But when you see what’s lurking there,
Your confidence is shaken. 

It’s shocking in its magnitude.
It’ll fill the nappy sack up.
This is not a one man job –
You need to call for back up.

You yell for reinforcements:
“Code Red: it’s one of ‘them’ –
You need to get here quickly.
And bring the Sudocrem!”

You work together bravely,
Though you’re facing something grim.
One on wiping detail,
The other pinning limbs. 

Pretty soon, the child is clean.
Nappy on with both tabs fixed.
Then you start negotiations
Over whose turn will be next. 

Emma Robinson 2016


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